The Human Centipede (2009)

If you’re a sucker for body horror, then this my friend is right up your alley! Yes, pun intended. Think David Cronenberg jizzing all over a Takashi Miike script. Dutch director Tom Six turns in this opus about three unfortunate people doomed by the hands of one demented Doctor.

Renowned Dr Heiter is a specialist in separating Siamese twins, and has a hair-brained scheme to connect people, in more ways than one. Needless to say, things take an ugly, nasty turn.

Two American girls become stranded and find themselves at the door of the warped doctors lair-come-hospital of torture-doom. Seizing his moment to find a head, he takes hold of a Japanese tourist. Tissue matches are done, and there’s the removal of knee tendons and human teeth.

Heiter’s plan is to create a being that shares one digestive tract. Yes, you read right, one gastric system. Creating a human centipede. So it’s hips to lips for these victims, forcing them into an existence of forever on all fours. Say what you want. Recoil in disgust. It is the shit.

I know what you’re thinking. Sure, this movie is just any other night backstage at a Motley Crue show. True perhaps. But let’s face facts here, Tommy Lee is no scientist. And another thing! Nobody wants to fuck the Crue anymore (unless, you’re Kat Von D).

Crude as it sounds, it does seem horrifying to be the last two in the “peede” chain. At present this is making the rounds at Screamfests, and was shown at Film Four’s Frightfest. A clip has just been officially released and the pics are the stuff of nightmares. What’s even scarier is that this is the first instalment – it’s supposedly a franchise…

- Henry Hate

• Click here for a gallery of shots from The Human Centipede

• View an interview with Tom Six