Henry Hate’s Top 10 Rock’n’Roll Horror Movies
I’m writing this for a few reasons. One, I fucking love rock’n’roll. Second, I love horror films. Finally, a certain web site’s top 10 was, well, in satanic terms - fucking sacrilegious! Hell yeah I said it. Whose mother wrote that shit? Whoever it was didn’t do enough drugs or catch enough VD. Not very rock’n’roll. Come on - where’s the sex, where’s the drugs, where’s the frantic NO from your mom decreeing Thou Shall Not See This Movie?!
They say the Devil has the best fucking tunes (well, I have fucked to most of them, at one time or another). So right here is my humble list of rock’n’roll movies you must see. And if you get the chance, fucking crank it up!
Jimboeth says: Got Spotify? Listen to FYH’s ROCK’N’ROLL HORROR album!
10. Beyond the Valley of the Dolls (1970)
Russ Meyer directed and Roger Ebert (yes that one) penned this psychosexual drug-induced-nightmare of life in the fast lane. Rock band the Kelly Affair become seduced by Hollywood and hot tranny mess svengali Ronnie “Z-Man” Barzell (and the rest of the loons in the asylum). With a reference to the Manson Murders, this has to be on the list. Performances by Strawberry Alarm Clock, Lynn Carey, and the Sandpapers give this a rocking psychedelic soundtrack.
Top Tune: The Kelly Affair / The Carrie Nations - Sweet Talking Candy Man
9. Strangeland (1998)
Twisted Sister’s Dee Snider wrote this unsung film about body modification with a nod to The Exorcist’s own Captain Howdy. Before House of 1000 Corpses, Dee created a boogeyman for the new Millennium. It’s got it all, mental hospitals, self mutilation, and Dee fucking Snider. Backed with some of the heaviest music acts around: Anthrax, Pantera, Nashville Pussy, and Marilyn Manson. This type of movie can make anyone’s mother nervous about their kid coming home with a pierced ear. Dee announced on his radio show House Of Hair (fucking love it), that a sequel will appear in 2010. Bring it.
Top Tune: Pantera - Where You Come From
8. Trick Or Treat: 1986
Ozzy Osbourne plays a bible-thumping holy roller, preaching against the evil that is rock’n’roll. Gene Simmons is a radio jock and friend of dead rocker Sammi Curr. DJ Simmons gives high school outcast Eddie Weinbauer an unreleased album of his late hero, but he gets more than he bargained for: Sammi speaks to him through it. Harking back to the trend of subliminal messages in rock, I ruined a quite few records in my time, looking for some of my very own.
Top Tune: Fastway - Don’t Stop the Fight
7. Suburbia (1984)
Hollywood normally uses actors to play cartoonish punks, but actual punks were used as actors in this thriller where the status quo is the predator. This is the ultimate Teens in Revolt movie, featuring Michael Balzary (Flea of the Red Hot Fruity-Pebble Peppers), the Vandals, D.I., and TSOL. Taking refuge in a derelict tract home, surround by wild dogs, the kids beg borrow and steal for survival, while facing the menacing people who turned their backs on them in the first place. It escalates to a shocking ending that will leave you a little unsettled.
Top Tune: D.I. - Richard Hung Himself
6. Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park (1978)
It’s fucking Kiss and they rule. Though all four members have stated their displeasure and dislike for it, it didn’t stop it reaching cult status. In recent years, Kiss’s public comments regarding the movie have varied from bemusement to disgust. On VH1’s When Kiss Ruled the World programme, Gene Simmons stated that, “It’s a classic movie … Classic movie if you’re on drugs”, while Ace Frehley (pejoratively) said “It’s the funniest shit I’ve ever seen”. In an early-1990s Sterling-McFadden magazine interview, Simmons compared the film to the infamous B-movie classic Plan 9 from Outer Space, joking that the two movies would make a perfect drive-in double feature. Fuck yeah, double feature. I’m there with a keg!
Top Tune: It’s all good - it’s Kiss
5. The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)
Based on Richard O’Brien’s stage musical, this tanked when it was first released, but now enjoys near-legendary status. I’ve seen this movie countless times at midnight showings: stoned, drunk and everything in between. With an homage to the English Hammer Horror genre and the science fiction pictures of bygone years, this is a showcase for camp trash and all that wish to wallow in it. Come dressed to kill, and fuck the back row.
Top Tune: Time Warp
4. The Wall (1982)
When my mother took me to see this, someone actually handed her a joint in the cinema. This resulted in her vetoing rock’n’roll and midnight movies, and me sneaking out of the house while she slept. The lead, played by Bob “save the world” Geldof, is pretty impressive. Running themes are ultraviolence, Neo-Nazi imagery, and nightmare visions of one man’s mental breakdown. And the prerequisite slutty groupies complete the rock’n’roll circle. Meshing animation with live action to explore the living hell of a mind gone mad, this is a true genre-spanning classic.
Top Tune: Pink Floyd - What Shall We Do Now?
3. Return Of The Living Dead (1985)
Much in the same vein as Evil Dead, this meshes comedy and horror, but backed with a kick ass soundtrack of death-rock. Written and directed by the much-missed Dan O’Bannon (1946-2009), it features a bunch of dippy poseur-punks who find themselves as the main course for a bunch of brain-hungry zombies. The troupe includes one wanton slut, whose fantasy is to be eaten alive by zombies. Be careful what you wish for bitch, ‘cause in one iconic scene, her dream comes true – with extra nudity. Dated though this film is, it never gets old.
Top Tune: 45 Grave - Partytime
2. Natural Born Killers (1995)
Before the age of Myspace and the explosion of the internet, NBK commented on the union of two lovebirds/mass-murderers. The subplot is our fascination with such things and how society and media can turn such killers into anti-heroes, making the real villain John Q Law and friends. It got the Irish in such a tizzy, they banned it upon release. Its own in-built controversy aside, eight copycat murders have been blamed on Oliver Stone’s film; Ben Darras and Sarah Edmondson mimicked events in hopes to gain some notoriety of their own. The soundtrack burned into our rock’n’roll consciousness and made this movie shine even more. Spearheaded by Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails, it roamed across the boundaries of country, punk, hip-hop and good ol’ rock.
Top Tune: it’s a draw between Patty Smith - Rock N Roll Nigger, and L7 - Shitlist
1. The Phantom of the Paradise (1974)
Mixing elements of The Phantom of the Opera, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, and Faust, Brian De Palma’s ode to glam-rock will be new to many Johnny Come Latelys in the rock and roll game. So pin them ears back and get with the programme! It tells the story of a Manilow-esque songwriter, whose music is pillaged by munchkin record exec Paul Williams. Our hero is disfigured and finds the beauty of aspiring singer Phoenix (Susperia’s own Jessica Harper) bewitching. Deemed a classic to rock/cult enthusiasts, this rock-opera will grow on you and is not to missed. For some ungodly reason people in Canada can’t get enough of it.
Top Tune: Jessica Harper - Special To Me (also check out her lungs in Richard O’Brien’s Rocky Horror follow-up Shock Treatment)
- Henry Hate
Got Spotify? Listen to FYH’s ROCK’N’ROLL HORROR album!*
*SMALL PRINT: Some tunes have been altered to whatever was available on Spotify. Namely, Sweet Talking Candy Man is now by Ella Washington, and instead of The Phantom of the Paradise (nada), you now have Nightwish covering The Phantom of the Opera! Aces!
